Why Should I Care?

A Study in Empathy for Elementary Age Students,

Grades 4-6.

Sharon Kay Stoll, Ph.D.

Prologue: Why Care?

Introduction

1. What does it mean to care about another person? What would you say it means to you to care about someone?

Teacher' Comments: Let students comment. Depending on their remarks, you can summarize with the following. "Caring usually means that we are concerned about another. We notice other people and the problems that they have. We can place ourselves in their shoes and feel what it's like to be them. We are thoughtful about their feelings, their problems, and their concerns."

Who do you care about?

Teacher' Comments: Students may answer from three different perspectives: (1) About their families, (2) friends, (3) teachers , (4) others, and (5) self. Depending on their comments, below find remarks that you might make in each situation.

1. Families

Most of us care about our families. Families, here, mean the people we live with, who care for us and about us. We care that they are well and happy. Most times we care about our families because the family affects us. If Mom, Grandma, or Aunt Meg is happy, we are happy. But, if she is sad or sick or angry, we worry about her. This is a good concern and shows caring.

We should also care about our families just because they are our families. They are people who we know and we want what is best FOR them. We care not because of what we get from them, but because we love them. This is the best sort of caring...the type of caring that is about them...not us.

2. Friends

Many of us care about our friends. We care about them usually because they do things for us. But, shouldn't we also care about them because they are people...and they deserve our caring?

3. Teachers, Coaches, Preacher

Usually, most of the people who are our teachers care about us. Our coaches in youth sports like basketball, softball, baseball, and so forth care about us. Our pastors and preachers care about us.

4. Ourselves

Most of us care about ourselves...which is okay. We should be thoughtful about what is good for us and what is not good for us. We should care about how we take care of our bodies and our minds. We should eat correctly, exercise often, and challenge ourselves to learn more in school.

But there is another reason that we should care about ourselves. We should also care about ourselves because our health and happiness affects other people. Our families love us and want us to be healthy and happy. If we don't take care of ourselves, our families hurt. They worry about us...some parents, grandparents, or extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins and so forth) members worry so much about their children that they don't sleep, eat, or rest. Some mothers have been known to become ill because of worry for their children.

Why do you care about them? Do you care about them because they give you thing? (Teacher Comments: Give students a time to think about this question and the next few?) Or do you care about them for another reason...because they care about you?

Who cares about you?

Teacher' Comments: Most of us have family who cares about us. They care because they love us. What about other people? Who else cares about us?

Episode One: The Story

Teacher's Comments: This is a story about a class of fifth graders who went on a field trip. The field trip was a five-mile bike ride to a pretty park by a river. The ride would be on a bright, very warm day in the spring. Everyone had a bike and everyone was to carry his or her own lunch and drinks. The class of 25 students was divided into groups of five. Two adults were assigned to one group of five students. Each group was to leave on the trip ten minutes after the group in front of them. This story is about one of the groups and its experiences.

Read this story to your students and see if we can learn what it means to have empathy.

Jessame was excited. Today, her class was going on a long bike ride. The bike trip would be on a bike path next to a large river. It was a school field trip. Mr. Schwartz, her teacher, told the class to wear bike helmets and pack a lunch with something to drink. Because Jessame and her class live in a hot climate, Mr. Schwartz told them to wear shorts for the trip.

Jessame and her friend Allie had never taken a long bike ride before. They could hardly wait to show each other how well they could ride.

The field trip to the bike path was a 25-mile car trip. Many parents came along on the trip to car pool the class. The parents also drove trucks to get the bikes to the bike path. When everyone arrived at the bike path, Mr. Schwartz put five students in a group with two parents. The parents weren't very good bike riders. Mr. Schwartz thought the students could help the parents. Jessame's mom, Mrs. Hahm, was one of the parent leaders and would be in Jessame's group. Mrs. Hahm had invited her friend, Mrs. Schilling, to come along on the trip. Mrs. Schilling was an EMT (Emergency Medical Trainer). She lived on a ranch nearby and loved to ride dirt bikes.

After Mr. Schwartz told the students to stay with their parent leaders when they went on the bike trip. He then called the parents over to a meeting. He wanted to explain how the trip would play out. "Parents, the bike path is good for about two miles and then we will have to leave the path. There was a landslide that took out the bike path at about mile marker 2.5. Here's a map. Just before the slide you will see a detour. Take the kids up through the bushes and follow the make shift path. Be careful; it's a steep incline... uphill and downhill. Just follow the map, and you'll be okay."

Mrs. Hahm looked at the map. It wasn't very clear. "Mr. Schwartz, this map is hard to read. What other signs should I look for?"

"Well, there is break in the regular road barrier that you might see. You need to take the kids through that break, cross the road and go up the detour." Mr. Schwartz said.

"Will it be dangerous?" Mrs. Hahm asked.

"Well, maybe just a little," Mr. Schwartz replied. "But the kids are pretty good at following directions. Any other questions? If not get your groups together and get ready to go. I'll let you know when I'm ready with group 1."

Three groups had already started and Jessame's group was the next to last. There were three boys and two girls in her group. The three boys were Richie, Juan, and Michael. Richie had a fancy bike. It was brand new. He was very proud of the bike. He boasted to the group that his bike was the fastest and the best. Richie always had everything new. His father was a doctor and always bought Richie the best of everything. Juan was quiet. He didn't say a whole lot. His bike was not new, but it got the job done. Michael's bike was old and not in very good shape. Michael's mom was divorced from his dad and was trying to raise Michael and his brother alone. There wasn't much extra money in Michael's house for anything special. Michael's bike was a second hand bike that his mom had got for him when he was in the second grade. The bike didn't fit him. He was a lot older and bigger than a bike for a second grader. The bike was in pretty poor condition. Richie made fun of Michael's bike, "You won't get very far with that old thing!"

" It may be old, but it's fast," Michael said looking at his bike.

"Okay kids," Mrs. Hahm said, "let's get out lunches and water bottles in our back packs and get ready to roll."

Mrs. Hahm had a large bag attached to her bike. Jessame often teased her mom that the bag was the black hole. Mrs. Hahm was always looking for something lost in the black hole. Anything and everything could be found in Mrs. Hahm's bike pack. Unlike the other parents, Mrs. Hahm biked a lot. Her pack had a first aid kit, bike tools, bike pump, crackers, extra clothes, and sometimes some strange things. Jessame once found a very ripe banana in it. Mrs. Hahm said, "You never know when you might need a banana!"

Unlike the other kids, Michael didn't have a backpack or a water carrier. His old bike was pretty simple. It had two wheels, a handle bar, chain, seat, and pedals. He had no place to put his lunch or water bottle. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He was going to ask Mrs. Hahm to help him, but decided that the black hole looked pretty full already. Instead, he turned to Richie and said, "Richie, you have a big back pack and it looks almost empty would you carry my bottle and lunch for me?"

"I'm not carrying your stuff! What do you think I am? Your slave? Why don't you have a decent bike to ride? Besides, I want to go fast, and your stuff will slow me down."

Mrs. Hahm overheard Michael and Richie. She said to Michael, "Michael, give me your lunch and water bottle. I'll put it in my black bike bag."

Jessame laughed, "Good luck, Michael...once it goes in the black hole, you will never see it again."

Mrs. Hahm opened the black hole. Inside the bag, was an extra water bottle and lunch bag that she never saw before.

"Did someone put a lunch bag and water bottle in my bag?" she said to the group.

"I did," said Richie, "I want to go fast and I don't want to be slowed down with more weight!"

Mrs. Hahm gave Richie a long look before she said....

What do you think? Time for student discussion.

What did Mrs. Hahm say?

What would you have said?

Who does Richie care about?

How do you think Michael feels after Richie's comments?

Teacher's Comments: Let the students think about the questions and permit them time to discuss among themselves what they feel and what they would do. If the students need help, consider these thoughts:

Richie doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself. Can you find three ways that he doesn't seem to care about anyone else?

          1. Richie makes fun of Michael, because he doesn't have a fancy bike.

          2. He won't help Michael.

          3. And, he uses Mrs. Hahm to help him, but won't do the same thing for Michael.

Richie needs to consider other people and how they feel. It isn't Michael's fault that he doesn't have a fancy bike with all the trimmings. Richie has no feeling for Michael; instead he makes fun of him.

Michael doesn't have enough gadgets on his bike to carry his lunch and water bottle. When he asks Richie, Richie refuses and makes an excuse that he wants to go fast. Richie again shows that he has little empathy for anyone but himself.

And finally, Richie cares only about himself when he tries to use Mrs. Hahm to carry his lunch and water bottle. Mrs. Hahm was good enough to work for him, but he wouldn't extend the same courtesy to anyone else. Richie has a real character problem. He is selfish and uncaring.

We also want to remember that Richie needs help. Why wouldn't he care about others?

Perhaps he doesn't care because no one has taught him how important it is to care. Caring is learned. Richie needs help to learn that caring about others is important.

How would you help Richie to care about others?

Perhaps telling Richie that he is selfish may help, and it may not. Perhaps telling Richie that being selfish might make him more selfish. Maybe it would help if he could see that being selfish hurts him first and then caring helps himself might work.

If you were Mrs. Hahm, what would you have said to Richie? And why would you say that?